Chip Butties and Celluloid: Planning the Perfect Film Away Day

Every proper away day has a rhythm to it. You don't just rock up at the ground five minutes before kick-off and slink home afterwards — you make a day of it. The early train, the pre-match pint in a boozer that's seen better decades, the ritual of the away end. So why, when we drive forty miles to see a restored Powell and Pressburger picture in a single-screen palace, do we treat the cinema like a service station?

We shouldn't. The indie cinema away day is an art form, and it's time we took it seriously. Here's how it's done, with a few itineraries we've road-tested ourselves.

The Rules of the Game

First, the fundamentals. A proper film away day needs three things: a matinee or early evening screening (so there's time on either side), a walk that earns the meal, and a pub within stumbling distance of the picture house. The film itself is the match — everything else is the build-up and the post-mortem.

Second rule: eat locally. There is nothing — nothing — that bonds a film crowd like a shared chippy afterwards, arguing about the ending. Chains are for motorway services.

Third: talk to the locals. The person behind the counter at an indie cinema knows every good pub within a mile and has opinions about the programme. Use them.

Itinerary One: Whitby, North Yorkshire

The away day against which all others should be measured. Whitby has Dracula in its bloodstream — Bram Stoker wrote the thing here — so a Hammer horror or gothic double bill at one of the town's screens feels less like programming and more like pilgrimage.

Do it properly: arrive on the coastward train mid-morning, climb the 199 steps to the Abbey while you've still got energy, then descend to the old town for fish and chips at one of the harbourfront institutions — the Magpie Café if you're queueing happily, the Quayside if you'd rather eat. A pint at the Duke of Bilge or anywhere with a view of the harbour swings before the lights go down. After a vampire film, in Whitby, in October, in the dark? There's no better post-match debrief in Britain.

Itinerary Two: Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire

The calderdale classic. Hebden's Picture House is one of the oldest continuously running cinemas in the country, and the town itself is a hiker's dream — steep hills, mill conversions, more second-hand bookshops per capita than anywhere this side of Hay.

Get the train in, walk up to Hebden Dale or the stubbings estate paths for an hour, then reward yourself with lunch at one of the cafés along the canal. The Picture House tends to run a smart arthouse slate — matinee a slow-burn European drama, then decant to the Calan's or the Old Gate for a pint and a proper natter about what you've just seen. The last train back to Manchester or Leeds means the conversation doesn't have to end early.

Itinerary Three: Port Talbot or Penzance — Pick Your Coastal Pilgrimage

Down in Cornwall, the Acorn in Penzance and the region's village-hall screens run a surprisingly feisty programme, and you can pair a matinee with the jaw-dropping walk along the promenade towards Marazion, St Michael's Mount sat offshore like a film set that got there first. Fishermen's pies, a harbour pint, a film about people making bad decisions on the moors — Cornwall does the full package.

The Kit

You don't need much: comfortable shoes, a waterproof (this is Britain), a book for the train, and enough cash for the kiosk. A flask is optional but marks you out as a serious operator. The one thing you absolutely must bring is time — the whole point is that the film is the centrepiece of the day, not the day itself.

So next time a restoration or a festival one-off drags you three counties from home, don't treat it as a chore to be endured. Treat it like the away end treats an FA Cup third round: early start, good pint, proper chips, and plenty to argue about on the way home. That's not just going to the cinema. That's being a supporter.